flash fiction---tell me what you think--the different fonts disappeared

Confessions of a Scrapbooker

Rehab
I decided purple was a good background cover for my first scrapbook, subtle but royal. My husband is a royal pain in the ass. Yes, this first page is Mark exiting rehab. He looks good doesn’t he? The kids said at Christmas, Dad, it’s not funny anymore, your ruff, ruff, dog act and begging for food. Mom invited her teacher and she doesn’t drink a wink and you have to have three martinis, a bottle of wine and then put calamari rings on your ears and nose and bark like you are some cute dog. I called up an expensive rehab center, agreed to pay for it and Mark went. He looks good doesn’t he? I decided this page would be before and after, oh what am I talking about, a double page layout. Do you think the bottle of Jack Daniels from an ad is appropriate? And I don’t know about the sparkles.

From Bad to worse
I am using a bold funky font—Comic Sans MS. Lily is pregnant. We never expected that. I mean she is old enough but she doesn’t have much of a social life. The news sent Mark back to the bottle. That’s him on the left slumped on the couch watching football, holding his precious a six-pack. He says that beer doesn’t count, that in the old days, like really old, like the Middle Ages, everyone drank beer for every meal because it would protect them from the plague. He’s the plague if you ask me. I decided to go with red for this spread. You know—sex, love, Valentines. Lily takes up most of the layout. Before-- on the left—she had a great shape, that girl, and then after on the right. But wait, some of the before pix make her look awful-- her entire body is bloated. Here she is with the babies, all four. We’re advertising them because Mark says that Lily has a pedigree. Like what it is I don’t know. I put the ribbons, right on the photos-- those cute cocker spaniel, terrier, shepherd, poodle bitches.



Omigod.
Can things get worse? Look, here I am in the classroom as a Teacher’s Aid. I love my job and the kids. Yes, those are cut outs of books and I made them from real felt. Felt was expensive so I decided to make leftover scraps into chair protectors. I pasted them to the bottom of all our kitchen chair legs and Mark said, finally something useful for all that cutting and pasting. Speaking of legs, I really need to buy some tanning product for my legs, but wait, I don't want to get distracted from my theme. Pretty soon I will need an Aid. But really, I mean, who will work with all the problem kids. Oh we don’t call them that anymore, challenged. I mean look at Robert. That’s him sitting next to me. He’s autistic and doesn’t look at anyone. I have to sit next to him and explain it all, like I understand geometry?
And I have to keep away the bullies. See that kid snarling. That’s Theo, the biggest bully in the sixth grade. He snarls at Mark. I decided to go with blue for my background color because I do have the blues and my layout is very random to express my confusion. The kids gave me a going away party and that’s all over my second page. I saved some of the cards and tried to do a collage. I think the page is too messy but it’s the feelings that count: We’ll miss you miss martin, ha, ha.

Graduation!
Everyone is graduating except my kids. I went to the high school graduation anyway, and took some photos of their friends. This page is titled: See you could do it too if you just try and don’t cut classes and do your homework and go to finals like you’re suppose to and if you don’t call Ms. Hall a friggin’ asshole. Yes, I decided to be truthful. Here they are the boys: Mark Jr., Matt with their dad preparing, The I-don’t-give-a-shit-barbecue. Well I do. I went to Wanda’s grad party. Wanda used to go with Mark Jr. and then she got wise. I am noticing that my pages have the bad and good news--maybe that’s my theme. I keep changing the font from layout to layout—I don’t think that’s good scrapbooking style. I decided on white for my backgound color for these pages and Impact font, all in bold. It’s dramatic even if blurry. Wanda looks great, but is she pregnant under those robes? I didn’t want to ask. Her parents are quiet and shy and live in a trailer but they are not trailer trash.

Life is Good
I got a new job in the high school kitchen! I love it and Mark has not been drinking and the boys are getting their GEDs and Mark Jr. and Wanda are getting married and they will live next door to Wanda’s parents and everyone is working and we are going to have the best ever barbecue. I bought some hamburgers, frozen patties at Wal-Mart, the best, really, and I told Mark he could get a keg and we invited everyone we know, the whole goddam neighborhood and things are really looking good. The boys are working on a construction crew, thanks to the money given to Kansas to rebuild roads, and we do have health insurance and I do have hopes although my neighbors are still saying that Obama is a socialist. Then I get really pissed and say, you go join your Tea Party and see where it gets you. They just look at me like I’m some hippie or something but we invited them anyway and the color of these pages will be yellow and I want to use lots of ribbons and sparkles and call it Celebration and use some happy font like monotype corsiva because it is so classy oh man life is good.